The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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