god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize