I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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