Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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