I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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