You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize