Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize