Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
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so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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