everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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