I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i think i just lost a toe
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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