I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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