been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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