im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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