I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize