I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
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His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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