Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize