i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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