First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize