I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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