I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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