if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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