she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize