Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize