god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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