I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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