I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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