i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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