I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he shaved USA in his pubs
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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