under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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