mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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