Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize