I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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