i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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