Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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