In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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