so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
no more duck duck goose at the bar
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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