I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize