So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize