i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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