I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Soap is not a condiment
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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