i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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