i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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