my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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