Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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