In the future we'll all be gay
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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