My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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