im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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