I smell stomach acid.
where am i from again
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
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I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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