so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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