dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize